The Case of the Bread-and-Butter Job

Dear Sir/Madam,

I’m not actively seeking a position at Glosbi, but despite the fact that this role is under-paid, it should cover my daily expenses. Therefore I’m applying to the role of Assistant Secretary.

I have absolutely no interest in administrative work and in case you have any doubts about this, I’ve attached a picture of my room, where for the past two years, piles of unopened letters, forgotten to-do lists, and important documents to file have been invading every flat surface, and have occasionally enjoyed the refreshing rain falling through the window.

You will be happy to learn that since I graduated I’ve acquired some very valuable work experience at a distinguished film company. I became an expert at brewing tea. Indeed, I’ve made over 300 cups in two weeks, some were with milk, others without; I was constantly challenged. I have an intermediate level of proficiency in marmalade spreading, but I have been eating toasts with jam daily for the last week so I’m rapidly improving. Throughout my work experience, I was given the task to deal with the copy machine. I did not only make black and white copies, but also colour ones. The opportunity to work along the photocopier gave me the chance to expand my English vocabulary by learning new swear words, as the technician came to fix the deficient machine. Please refer to my CV for a full description of my work in the film industry.

I’m very keen to apply my experience to this role, but also to be challenged by the new tasks this position involves such as: ordering office supplies (I look forward to eagerly wait for 10 boxes of sharp new pencils to be delivered to your offices), updating your database of contacts (there is nothing like mechanically adding names of random people to an excel spreadsheet to brighten up your day), cleaning up meeting rooms (I can’t find anything more fulfilling than throwing out garbage).

Even if this job cannot be further away from my long-term career goal, even if it is unlikely to give any deeper meaning to my life or even to bring me any enjoyment whatsoever, it will at least get me out of the house on a regular basis.

I would like to work part time (minimum hours for maximum pay). Indeed, this would allow me to have time every day to look for a better job and leave your company ASAP.

I do not look forward to hearing from you.

Sincerely not yours,

Clementine

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